Sabtu, 28 November 2009

The Practice of Safe Sex Education Among Teens

There are greater calls nowadays for safe sex. People now acknowledge the need to have protected sex with the rapidly increasing cases of unwanted pregnancies and the widespread of various sexually transmitted diseases.

Some research efforts have found that kids nowadays have knowledge and exposure to the subject of sex at younger ages of about 12 to 14 years old. This is the age of puberty, wherein both girls and boys start to get really curious about the changes in their physical structures. Because of youth and lack of sufficient knowledge and information, many teenagers fall into practicing pre-marital and teenage sex.

Teenagers think having sex at younger age makes them adults. Never do most of them think of the greater responsibilities and risks that come along with teenage, premarital and unprotected sex. Unfortunately, consequences and events can transpire before teenagers realize the danger and disadvantage of engaging in unprotected sex.

Safe sex is very important. That is because the primary evolutionary purpose for sexual drive is to reproduce. Failure to practice educated and safe sex can lead to unplanned pregnancy for teenagers who are just starting out in life. This is a usual pitfall for teenagers engaging in premarital sex. Those youngsters who neglect the value and importance of safe sex are often led to live with diminished potential because of early parenthood. The need for sex education pales in comparison to the burden of how those kids would raise families and kids of their own.

In addition to unplanned pregnancy would be the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. Simple sexual ailments like herpes and gonorrhea are easily transmitted. Worse, if the STD contracted is HIV or human immunodeficiency virus, there is a greater possibility for the occurrence of AIDS. Teenagers are most prone to the disease because they are curious and are open to being sexually adventurous.

What can parents and societies do to help ensure that teenagers would practice safe sex? For a start, parents might assert that ensuring that their kids abstain from sex would be the best way. However most recent studies have shown that abstinence-only education does not help prevent teenagers from engaging in sex. So if that would fail, it would be easy to just make the kids prepared for any possibility.

Disseminating knowledge about safe sex is highly recommended. It is the concept of still enjoying sex albeit the use of several tools and items to safeguard both parties. Through safe sex, unwanted pregnancy and sexual disease transfer can be effectively curtailed. There can be an obvious delineation in any lesson plan between educating teenagers on safe sex and encouraging it.

What is the most common types of safe sex? The use of condoms is so far identified as the most common and practical form of safe sex. Through the use of latex rubbers, sexual couples would not be exposed to risks of infections and the possibility of early or premarital pregnancy would be effectively eliminated.

Kamis, 26 November 2009

Talking to Kids About Sex

Parents, at some point, need to discuss sex with their children. It’s an uncomfortable topic, could be embarrassing and it’s certainly not easy, however, it’s mandatory so be prepared. I think the earlier we have “the sex talk” with our kids, the better.

Little kids, starting at around age 6 or about the time they enter first grade, will begin to be curious about where babies come from and possibly about something they’ve seen or heard in the media, at school or at home. I think it’s very important to open a dialogue with our children before the idea of sex becomes blown out of proportion or our kids hear something utterly ridiculous about sexuality from a classmate or friend.

When both my children turned six, I talked to them about sex as clearly and honestly as I felt they could comprehend. It was not a strictly clinical conversation, with big words they wouldn’t have understood or concepts they couldn’t grasp. I asked them if they wanted to know where babies come from and how and why babies are created. This got their attention. I told them exactly how a baby was created, explaining that a man planted a seed in a woman’s tummy, just like planting a seed in a garden and precisely how that occurs. I did tell them that this was something married people do to create babies and to express their love for each other. I also assured them that sex was pleasurable. They had some questions although they were mostly grossed out by the implications and there was plenty of “eeeeeeeewwwwww Mom!” flying around. I stuck with it and gave them the straight story, with the offer to explain anything and everything they might be concerned about then or any time in the future. They had interesting questions for about a week and then it was just another absorbed life lesson, which they were able to pass along to their less sexually educated friends to clear things up when one of their peers had misinformation to share with the whole class.

The sex talk is not something we will be able to avoid until our child become teenagers or when we might feel it is more appropriate. By then, our children will be experimenting with kissing and potentially more if they are desperate for information and sexual education. Our kids are typically taught a routine form of sex education in middle school or possibly as early as fifth grade where the basics of sex, reproduction and how their bodies function are explained in clinical terms. You should know that most teachers are just as uncomfortable discussing sex with your children as you are.

I think explaining sex clearly and rationally to children should happen before their minds are corrupted with imaginings of crazy sex acts explained by their less knowledgeable and shock happy peers who will be more than thrilled to tell your children all manner of stupid things in the name of sex. Please tell them the truth, the basic facts about sex and as early as possible so they are armed with the correct information about something that will become important to them sooner than we want to think about.

This is also a good time to incorporate teaching our moral values regarding sex, marriage, relationships, respect for our bodies and the bodies and feelings of others. If you’re extremely liberal and feel that everyone and anyone should be having sex whenever and wherever they feel like it, please consider taming your free spirit in the name of teaching your children a semblance of chastity and moral dignity. Likewise, if you are horrified at the idea of explaining sex to your children or have an aversion to sex, please consider having someone more comfortable with their sexuality have the sex talk with your children. Many pediatricians will be able to help with this or ask another family member of the same sex as your child to help you out.

As my children got older, I’d bring up specifics about sex that I felt they needed to understand. When my older daughter began dating in her teens, I explained that it was not in her best interests to let boys touch her breasts or do anything more than kiss. I told her the truth; that she would likely feel more emotionally involved over the encounter and the boy would probably mostly feel the need to tell every other boy in school about the episode. Because she trusted that I would always tell her the truth, she got it, was always chaste, and did not ever feel confused about what to do or not do in any romantic situation. As an almost-adult, she now has a remarkably clear-headed approach to relationships, her obligations to herself and those with whom she is involved and a healthy outlook on sex and the part it plays in adult relationships.

Your opinions, stories, input and questions are very much welcomed on this subject and I will open this discussion on my forum for all who would like to become involved, either to help other parents through this minefield of “the sex talk” or to gain insight for your own talk about sex with your children. This is one of the tough jobs we, as parents, have to face. Know that many other parents are in your position and are just as confused about how to approach this delicate subject.

Senin, 23 November 2009

Sex During Pregnancy – The Facts On Enjoying Sex

Now that you’re pregnant, the biggest question for many women is whether to continue having sex during pregnancy.

Most expectant parents worry whether sex during pregnancy will harm the baby or cause discomfort, pain or even miscarriage.

These worries are completely normal and while you continue to have a normal pregnancy, are usually unfounded.

If you're pregnant or planning a pregnancy, here a few hints to ensure you can continue to enjoy a happy, healthy sex life during pregnancy.

Sex During Pregnancy – is it safe?

If you are having a normal pregnancy, then sex during pregnancy is considered safe.

If you are considered high risk for complications such as pre-term labor or miscarriage, then you should discuss your concerns about sex during pregnancy with your health care provider.

Having gentle, loving sex will not harm your baby in any way.

Sex During Pregnancy – Satisfying the need for intimacy

Honest and open communication between you and your partner will be the key to a satisfying and safe sexual relationship during pregnancy.

Many pregnant women experience fluctuations in their desire for sex during pregnancy. Some will have no desire at all, while others will feel an increase in sexual desire.

For some, symptoms of nausea, fatigue, breast tenderness, and the increased need to urinate, make sex too much of a ‘chore’ particularly during the first trimester.

During the second trimester, when most of these symptoms subside, some women find their desire for sex increases.

During the third trimester the desire for sex can subside as the uterus grows larger and the reality of what's about to happen sets in.

Your partner may also experience fluctuations in sexual desire. Some men feel closer to their pregnant partner enjoying the changes in her body.

While others find it difficult reconciling the identity of sexual partner with expectant mother.

Just as you do, your partner may also have anxiety about the burdens of parenthood, or concerns about the health of both the mother and their unborn child.

Sex During Pregnancy - When It's Not Safe?

If engaging in oral sex, your partner should never blow air into your vagina. Blowing air can cause an air embolism - a blockage of a blood vessel by an air bubble.

This could be potentially fatal for mother and child.

If you are having sex with a new partner, ensure you know their sexual history. If you become infected by a sexually transmitted disease this could be transmitted to your baby.

Sex During Pregnancy – Making the most of it!

As long as the desire is there, there are many ways to satisfy both your needs for intimacy.

Learning how to please each other with or without penetration can actually improve a couple’s sex life.

Oral sex, kissing, caressing, and experimenting with other positions can keep sex comfortable and exciting.

As your pregnancy progresses, experiment with these positions to find the most comfortable.

• Lie partly sideways – this allows your partner to keep most of his weight off your uterus

• Lie on your back at the side of the bed with your knees bent, and your bottom and feet perched at the edge of the mattress. Your partner can either kneel or stand in front of you.

• Lie side by side in the spoon position – this allows for shallow penetration

• You go on top - this puts no weight on your abdomen and allows you to control the depth of penetration
• Sit on your partner's lap as he sits on a sturdy chair

As you come closer to birth - precuations to take

Avoid lying flat on your back during sex, particularly after the fourth month. If your uterus compresses the veins in the back of your abdomen, you may feel lightheaded or nauseous.

Some doctors recommend you stop having sex during pregnancy in the final weeks as a safety precaution because semen contains a chemical that may actually stimulate contractions.

This need only be a concern if you are near or past your due date.

Sex during pregnancy should be enjoyed as once your baby is born, exhaustion, privacy issues and lack of time may well take the choice out of your hands.

Apart from the intimacy of sex during pregnancy, there are additional benefits as well. Sex releases endorphins, relaxes muscles and helps you sleep.

Jumat, 20 November 2009

Finding Men That Are Interested in More Than Just Sex

Most women—and most men, by the way—do not understand why men are often pre-occupied with sex. We tend to believe that the problem is an irresistible biological urge. And sure, there is a large biological component, but that’s far from the whole story.

What men want most is a feeling that they’re loved unconditionally. They want unconditional love—what I call “Real Love”—just like women do. When they can’t get that—which is the case with almost all men—they go looking for whatever form of Imitation Love (anything that we use to fill the emptiness caused by a lack of Real Love) they can find, and for whatever sense of connection or closeness they can find.

Here’s when men run into a problem. See, women learn from the time they’re little girls how to connect emotionally with the people around them, and part of that is that they’re taught that connecting emotionally is all right. They have permission to express how they feel—it’s perfectly acceptable, for example, for young girls to cry. They can ask for help. They can say they don’t know something. They can ask for directions. They can even express emotional neediness.

But heaven help a BOY who tries to do the same things. That’s entirely different. Go out on a school playground during recess and watch the boys interact with each other. They’ve already mastered the male macho thing: They act tough, they have a pecking order, and the currency of their games is power. If a boy cries, or expresses his needs, he is instantly and thoroughly condemned. A boy who cries is a sissy. And it gets worse for men. Ask any man what would happen if he walked into a locker room and said, “You know, I’m feeling empty and scared.” He would be a social leper.

So, many men—perhaps most—soon discover that there is only one socially acceptable way for them to feel emotionally close to another human being: sex. Even though the sensation is very brief, during sex men can achieve a sense of intense connection to a woman. Sure, it’s also a great source of physical pleasure, but it’s the emotional connection that keeps them returning to women again and again. If it were the physical pleasure alone that mattered most, they could accomplish that without a woman.

The problem here is that without sufficient Real Love (unconditional love), sex uniformly becomes a substitute for Real Love.

It becomes a form of Imitation Love, and that is a formula for disaster.

In the beginning, both men and women get so much Imitation Love from sex—usually in the form of praise, power, and pleasure—that both partners are CERTAIN they’ve found genuine happiness. The positive feelings are powerful. What they don’t realize is that with Imitation Love those feelings will ALWAYS wear off, and then they’re left with nothing—actually worse than nothing, because they’re left with disappointment, anger, even a sense of betrayal.

Now, back to your specific situation. All around you, women are attracting men with sex. Everywhere. You see it on television, in movies, on magazine covers, and in the daily actions of your friends and others. And, in the absence of Real Love, it’s only natural that they would do that. Women get an enormous sense of praise and power—and some pleasure—from offering sex, and men obviously get pleasure, as well as some praise and power. The exchange is huge—almost irresistible—and you’ve noticed that if you don’t offer what all the other women are offering—if, in your words, you don’t “put out”—most men tend to leave. On the other hand, if you do “put out,” they don’t stay for long. That’s because that initial rush—the emotional and physical high of sex alone—never lasts.

So what’s the solution? Almost all dating advice is about how to play the game better. Wrong. It’s not how you play the game that matters. It’s a matter of not playing the game at all. The moment you choose to play the game of Imitation Love, you’re doomed. Let’s say you’re the perfect sexual object—on a scale of 10, you’re a 12—and you know exactly how much sex to offer, and when. You are a master of the game. And you know how to do every other thing to get a guy to like you. You’re still doomed, because all that manipulation can still get you only Imitation Love, and it will wear off.

You’re probably already playing the game. You’re already offering sex to men, and how’s that working out? You’re advertising yourself as a sexual object, and then when that aspect of the relationship gets old, your partner is understandably disappointed.

So what can you do? Be yourself. Tell the truth about yourself, including your mistakes, flaws, fears. Not all at once, but gradually and sensibly.

Read the book, Real Love in Dating, and you’ll get some great ideas about how to be honest in a relationship from the beginning.

Absolutely avoid having sex with a man until you’re married to him. I’m making no moral or religious judgment here. I’m only sharing with you the wisdom gleaned from the experiences of millions of people, including yourself. You have already proven that having sex as a way of attracting men doesn’t work. When you’re trying to find a relationship based on Real Love, having sex early on is simply distracting and confusing.

If you do offer sex, you will attract the kind of man who is looking for sex as a substitute for Real Love. Duh. And that is not what you want.

If, on the other hand, you make a decision to quit playing the game of Imitation Love—if you make a commitment to hold out until you’re married before you have sex with a man—you’ll discover that you won’t keep attracting men interested in that superficial substitute for Real Love. If you do occasionally attract a man who pushes you to have sex with him, think about it. If he’s pushing you to have sex before you’re in a committed long-term relationship—like marriage—what is he telling you? Who is he thinking about, you or him? Do you want a relationship with someone who is willing to shove your happiness aside for his own selfish interests?

By choosing the path of Real Love, it might take you longer to find a partner. Maybe. But Real Love is always worth waiting for. And what if it does take longer? What prize do you get for being the first on your block to attract one superficial man after another? There’s no prize here for speed, only quality. Be calm, be patient—and do whatever it takes to get what you really want. Don’t sell out for the short-term satisfaction of just any old relationship. It ain’t worth it.

The world is literally dying from a lack of the one thing essential for our happiness—Real Love. We spend our entire lives trying to replace that unconditional love with praise, power, sex, money, entertainment, safety, and so on. But it never works, and the resulting emptiness and fear are almost too much to bear.

We don’t have to live like this anymore. Greg Baer and RealLove.com are teaching (1) the real cause of fear and anger and (2) how to find this Real Love that replaces the fear, anger, and conflict in our lives with peace, confidence, and genuine happiness.

Dr. Greg Baer is the author of 16 books, DVDs, and CDs—two of which are internationally published by Penguin Putnam Group—and has presented the life-changing message of Real Love to hundreds of thousands of people all over the world.

Senin, 16 November 2009

Kickstart Your Sex Life Today

Has your sex life been a bit neglected lately? It's not like you don't care but well, it's just finding the time and energy. It seems impossible some days because there's work and cleaning and working out and grocery shopping and cooking dinner, laundry, kids, family commitments, friends, ironing! When you do get horizontal you pass out within minutes. Or you're not in the mood. Or you just can't be bothered. Soon enough a month has passed and you can't remember the last time you had sex. And when was the last time you kissed your partner and I mean really kissed them, not just a polite peck?

Or maybe you've just fallen into a rut. You have sex in the same place at roughly the same time each week and do the same things. Routine is good for things like brushing your teeth but it shouldn't come into your sex life when variety and excitement are crucial elements in making it fulfilling.

If this sounds like you and you want to kickstart your sex life back into well, life, then read on.

1. Be spontaneous

The element of surprise can be very seductive. Take a shower together, surprise your partner with a long passionate kiss when they are expecting to just graze lips, buy some new lingerie and wear it.

2. Get healthy

Eating well and regular exercise put you in better touch with your body and that inner healthy glow not only makes you look more attractive but gives you heaps of energy and makes you feel more vibrant and alive.

3. Be affectionate

If you haven't had sex for awhile then it may be better to build up slowly to get back into the groove. Instead of trying to go from a standing start to racing speed, ease your way back into the physical by touching when you can and by being considerate with each other. Touch when you talk. Stop to kiss when you walk past each other in the hallway. Trail your finger along their shoulder as they sit reading a magazine. Snuggle on the couch in front of your favorite movie.

4. Be sensual

Give your partner a peppermint foot bath when they get home from a busy day. Massage their hands, scalp, back - wherever takes your fancy (if you don't know how to massage, don't think about it, just do what feels good). Or try a lighter touch by using a feather or silk scarf to trail along the length of your partner.

5. Be encouraging when your partner does something you like

Even if you've been together a long time your partner doesn't always know what you like and even if they do it doesn't hurt to tell them once in awhile. Say what you like and why you like it, if they have more information you never know what they may come up with to please you.

6. Read your partner an erotic bedtime story

The mind is crucial in any attempt to resuscitate your sex life. It needs to be turned on first and the body will follow. There is some great erotic fiction around or you could try Nancy Friday for stories about other people's sexual fantasies.

7. Have fun

When was the last time you laughed together? Put on your favourite track and dance. Or buy the music that was popular when you first got together and play that for a trip down memory lane over dinner. Take a midnight dip.

8. Write a sexy letter

If you can't tell your partner what you really want them to do to you, then writing it down is a great alternative. It lets you be as specific as you like without feeling like your face is going to turn tomato red and gives your partner time to process what you've said and get into the mood (if you need help putting your letter together try visiting http://www.loveyouletters.com for easy-to-us love templates).

9. Experiment

Learn a new technique together. Try a romantic weekend away. Or you could try a sex toy from one of the many on offer. If you always have sex lying down then try standing or sitting. If you're always on top then try switching things around.

10. Focus on the now

When you do get down to it, it is crucial that you focus on exactly what it is you are doing. To do this you must stop the chatter within your own head. Don't worry that you forgot to pick up the drycleaning, or how you need to call your mother about her birthday, or the fact that you're out of cereal. Leave all that stuff to later. Much later. Chances are it won't seem nearly so important once you're done.

Kamis, 12 November 2009

3 Hot Foreplay Sex Tips That Will Result in Earth-Shattering Orgasms for Any Relationship

A good relationship with a loving partner definitely makes life worth living. Whether you are married, divorced or single, there is no doubt that you have discovered that sex is a very important element in finding and maintaining a healthy and joyful love life.

However, the meaning of sex between men and women is as different as a rock to a jet plane. Men can get turned on visually by a sexy lingerie or a hot model in an adult magazine. Whereas, a woman needs to be emotionally connected in order to have sex.

Because both sexes are wired differently, sexual problems can drive a wedge between couples.

Problems experienced by women include:

- Difficulty in becoming sexually excited

- Trouble reaching orgasm

- Not enough foreplay before intercourse

Problems cited by men include:

- Ejaculating too quickly

- Attraction to women other than their partner

- Erectile dysfunction

Thus arrives the inevitable question…How can I help my partner consistently reach orgasm?

Here are 3 easy foreplay tips that will make you a great lover and generate high-intensity, full-body orgasms for both you and your partner:

Use The Sense Of Touch To Excite Your Partner

Awaken the erotic anticipation in your lover by introducing touching into your lovemaking. Gently and slowly massage those secret hot spots. One part of the body to focus on is the ears. You can stimulate the ear by lightly stroking it with your tongue or probing it slowly with your finger.

Another part of the body to target is the inner thighs. There is a bountiful of sensual nerve endings awaiting your touch. Start with slow, short strokes and build to a mediocre rhythm.

However… are you ready for the number one hot zone that will spice up your sex life and get those juices flowing?

If you really want your partner to explode with desire, the most hypnotic and erotic spot on the body is the feet.

The secret of foot pleasuring began in the Bible. In the book of Solomon beginning in Chapter 7, King Solomon aroused his many wives by admiring their feet and sandals. Solomon had 1000 wives so just imagine his shoe bill. In addition, the Chinese have been using foot pleasure since the Tang Dynasty in the 10th century and it still exist in their current culture.

The goal is to arouse the senses – all of them by using the power of the foot. There is nothing more pleasurable than a long, slow, relaxing foot massage. Use a sensual-smelling massage oil such as Japanese Cherry and massage the sole of the foot in a slow, circular motion. Next, use your nose or tongue and explore the toes, the ball of the foot, the heels and the top of the foot. Caressing the ankles, massaging the arches, smelling and kissing the soles or sucking the toes are easy yet very effective ways to propel your partner into total bliss!

Change Your Sexual Routine

If you find you are bored or dissatisfied with sex, try changing your sexual routine. For example, if you are a woman and you are nude during sex, buy a sexy nightdress. If you normally do wear a nightgown, go nude and show your body. If you are a man, change those old pajamas or T-shirt and buy yourself a silk nightshirt.

A second tip is to make love in a different room of the house such as the shower, a hot tub, the washing machine while it is on spin cycle or the pool table. However, watch out for that glass coffee table that was only made to support 50 pounds. Be creative, use common sense and enjoy yourself.

A third tip is to change or advance your sexual positions. For example, if you are a woman, try drawing one of your knees toward his chest or try resting both of your legs over his shoulders.

And here is the new super sex tip of the century:

Reverse the universal sex position – to all men, lie on your back and women, please mount him. This position will allow the man to prolong the buildup before ejaculation. The man does not move at all while the woman does all the work using his penis to hit every g-spot, h-spot, i-spot or whatever alphabet she is aiming for. This technique will forever eliminate the 2-minute man. The football game in the other room will have to go into overtime if he wants to see it.

Plan A Spontaneous, Romantic Experience

Instead of the crowded restaurant scene, prepare a candlelight dinner for two. Or plan a sexy picnic with your favorite foods and a large rug and blanket to cover both of you. Then spend a romantic night in a hotel. If you have children, hire a baby-sitter for a day and spend the day visiting art galleries, museums or the zoo.

Here are a few more romantic ideas that either a man or a woman may enjoy:

- Buy new sheets for the bed and leave a love note on it.

- Too tired to cook or not a good cook and on a budget? Ask a friend to prepare a meal for you and spend an evening together with your partner in front of the fireplace.
- For men, know the six gifts that women request the most: jewelry, shoes, handbags, perfume, lingerie and attention.

- For women, know the six gifts that men request the most: sports memorabilia, tools, electronics, clothing, tickets and no nagging.

- Frame your baby pictures together.

- While out in the public, show your affection to each other by holding hands, hugging or just saying, I love you.

- Take long walks together on a regular basis.

- Make a homemade card or write a poem to your partner.

- For women, hide a box of chocolates under his pillow.

- For men, hide a gift certificate from her favorite store or salon.

- Communicate and listen to each other.

- Schedule and learn a new dance routine together at your local dance studio.

Remember – action speaks much louder than words. You don’t have to buy big expensive stuff - it is the little stuff you do that makes you a good lover.

So…get off your lazy butt and show your partner that you love him or her.

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