Sex on the First Date - To Be Or Not to Be

A book called Rough Guide To The Brain by Dr Barry J Gibb (not one of those singing siblings, we've been assured) claims that sex on the first date - or at least early in the relationship - is a great idea as it releases hormones that help us trust and bond with our new partner. But this is being disputed in some circles, and the scientific jury is still out.

Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider would disagree. The authors of the best-selling The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right have different ideas. They famously advise women to wait to let the passion escalate. And they may have a point...If you wait, there's more of a build up. More sexual tension. More desire. More excitement. This is not a hard and fast rule, but if you hang back, chances are when it does happen, the fireworks display will be bigger and brighter than it would have been when you didn't know each other so well. Think of waiting as a little like extended foreplay...

As the authors told The Sun newspaper: "Men like a challenge and to be the pursuer, while women generally like security. If you chase a man or if you're too available, he eventually gets bored, loses interest and dumps you. We're giving old-fashioned ideas to very modern women. The rules for conventional dating, or if you use dating websites are eternal. The Rules are about boundaries, self esteem and protecting yourself from unnecessary pain - they stop you from ruining a relationship that could have been..." "The only way to make a guy take things to the next level is to keep some things sacred."

Millions of American women swear by The Rules. Others dismiss it as just too old-fashioned. Agony aunt and sex educator Dr Petra Boynton makes a lot of sense when she says: "There are some schools of thought that the longer you delay sex the better you get to know someone. This is important for young people who may be less confident about sex. It is also good if you're new to dating or back on the dating scene after a long term relationship. However, it shouldn't be an absolute rule since we need to allow people to make their own decisions - and mistakes."

The bottom line is, as Dr Boynton wisely says, it's up to you. If you're old enough to go into singles chat rooms and check out dating sites, then you're old enough to make your own decisions about sex. To do it or not to do it...it's up to you!

Oral Sex Tips That Will Make Your Man's Spine Arch in Erotic Ecstasy (He Will Love It)

The art of oral sex is fast becoming one of the hottest topics in female sex education classes all around the country. The reason for this is because there is a new sexual revolution right now, that has people exploring their sexuality. Learn these oral sex tips that will have your man craving your skills.

Oral sex tips that will make your man's spine arch in erotic ecstasy

One of the most important concepts when giving a man fellatio is to understand how sensitive his head, or glans, can become after orgasm. Most men hate when their women continue to give the head attention directly after orgasms. This is because, like the clitoris, it can become too sensitive for it to experience any more pleasure for a brief period of time.

What most men enjoy is if the woman stops mouth play. Then she should just grab the shaft pulling up to the head slowly, and holding the hand right before the glans. This is preferred amongst most men. Many men tend to orgasm very quickly if the woman is very good at giving oral sex. To prevent this from happening, the woman should do one of two things.

The first is that she should remove her mouth and slowly use her hand to continue pleasure, but delay ejaculation. The other alternative is to remove the mouth form the head and use it to caress the testicles, or the shaft, to delay ejaculation. These two methods are not that complicated, but they are very important to remembering to extend oral.

LADIES, do you want to discover how to tighten and strengthen your vagina? Do you want to make your man ERUPT by using your stronger vaginal muscles to MILK him dry?

The War On Sex

After 9/11 Dubya had best of us assertive Saddam had arsenals bristling with WMD and that world-threatening nukes were in the activity address of raw abstracts from places like err ... Chad. Like best faith-based Christians, G.Dubya takes a lot of things on-faith, alike back the things he's demography on-faith about-face out to be false, actual apocryphal or alike completely-and-indisputably-false.

I'm abiding if an angel of the Lord showed up at the Crawford agronomical and told Dubya that Aids was acquired by orange M & M's, the Pres would anon affair a civic active and accept the HIV transmitting candies pulled off the shelves.

The affair about acceptance based folk is that they never learn, alike if their mistakes are hauled out in advanced of them as affirmation and addition whips them acceptable for the absurdity of their ways. It's like an centralized blockage. Their attitude is "well it may assume all amiss to you, but see ... you don't get it". We don't get it of advance because we aren't "saved", because seeing aggregate ass-backwards can alone appear back you are in a adored condition.

The faith-based zealots acquisition facts annoying and adopt to abstain them. They adopt the old "God moves in abstruse means his wonders to perform" caveat, to explain abroad abstracts that refutes their Victorian certitudes apropos all that's bad about boyhood sex.

Even as Bush pours millions into programs advised to stop adolescence from accepting sex, the abstracts absolutely demonstrates that his cerebration is wrong. This anti-sex allotment is activity into the coffers of acid bend organizations in the acreage of science such as Youth for Christ and assorted anti-abortion groups who accomplish abnormally called "crisis abundance centers".

Nothing so actually demonstrates how amiss the Bush cerebration is on boyhood sex than the afterward abstracts ... in Texas, from 1995-2000 back abstinence-only programs were in operation, the accompaniment ranked LAST in abatement of boyhood bearing ante amid 15 to 17 year old females. This is because these neo-Victorian regimens don't work, not because Belzeebub and his cohorts fabricated Texas the focus of a backsliding-into-hell campaign.

Bush seems to be headed into state-of-denial2. Back in Saddam's day instead of absorption on the absolute botheration - Arab breach (i.e.the Palestine issue) - he benumbed in on WMD's. Now he's authoritative the aforementioned aberration again. On the sex front, instead of absorption on AIDS prevention, sex apprenticeship and abetment accurate standards of prevention, he's absorption on WME ... Weapons of Mass Eroticism. According to Bush pals such as Dr. McIlhaney, condoms don't work, admitting abstracts to the contrary. Another accelerating figure of science, one W. David Hagar, columnist of a must-read book blue-blooded " As Jesus Cared for Women: Restoring Women Then and Now" ... adoration is the best cure for pre-menstrual syndrome.

What abutting ... will he alpha ramping up the anti-sex address as a way of accepting us all to cantankerous our legs? Are sex alerts in our approaching ... 5 actuality low-to-intermediate horniness ... 1 actuality acute and alarming horniness on-the-loose. Will we see raids on the Playboy Mansion and on Hustler HQ in chase of banned sex toys and tasteless/odorless orgasmic crumb ... the closing reputedly active by animal insurgents, triggering a beachcomber of orgasmic explosions that swept through a southern Baptist association (according to columnist absolution from Celibacy for Jesus News based in SayNo, Texas).

Fact is, 70% of adolescence accept sex in the U.S. afore the age of 18. Pornography is a huge and accepted business. Advertising and appearance appearance no assurance of abetment off sex- address as a way of announcement product. We ARE a sexualized association George. Strolling into the allowance bouncing a bible and adage "stop it", cannot compete.

Why? Well, it's aloof not adult enough.

The Best Sex Positions For Powerful Female Orgasms Every Time

So you may be wondering what are the best sex positions for pleasing your woman? If you read any sex education book, you are likely to find many positions that are hailed as the best and these include the missionary position, doggy style, 69's etc.

However in my opinion, all these sex positions miss the boat because they forget the one thing that makes females orgasm even possible and that is clitoral stimulation.

The problem with all suggested sex positions is that they all seemingly depend on vaginal stimulation to cause a female to orgasm. However vaginal stimulation is the least efficient way to get a woman to orgasm.

In truth, there are two types of female orgasms.

There is clitoral orgasm, which occurs when the clit is stimulated. And then there is vaginal orgasm which occurs when the vagina is directly stimulated.

Most sex guides will focus on vaginal stimulation but very few will even talk about clitoral stimulation!

What some experts fail to realize is that both orgasms depends on the clitoris. So it only makes sense to master the art of clitoral stimulation.

And by reading this short article, you can become a very powerful lover and use the technique I am about to share with you on all sexual positions to make any woman orgasm.

So what is the technique that makes any sexual position better? It is screwing! Now I am not being vulgar, I am simply using the right term! You need to screw whiles penetrating a woman.

Here is how to perform this sex technique: Take any sex position and do not focus on only the penetration aspect of it. Rather when performing any sex act screw with your penis! As your penetrate your partner, screw with your penis clockwise. By screwing you are pressing and stimulating the clitoris which will potentially lead to an explosive female orgasm.

This action of screwing while penetrating during sex will turn average sex positions into masterful female orgasm producers.

So try it next time you are making love to your partner. Simply take any sexual position and add the screwing motion to it. You would have turned average sexual techniques to powerful orgasm producers.

Start with something simple like the missionary position. A simple position like the missionary allows you the skill and time to master this simple method of pleasing a woman.

That is all you need to do to turn all sex positions into powerful female orgasm generating tools.

Sex Positions For Christians

You know, that title so bugs me! That there would be a differentiation between sex positions for Christians and non-Christians is rather ludicrous. But it does come up - hence this article.

Is there something fundamentally wrong with Christians having sex in a position in any other way than the missionary position? Forgive my directness, but give me the scripture.

The fact is that when God left Adam and Eve to taste each other's delights, the only influence they had was to possibly see how the creatures were doing it all around them: Sex Education 101. Does that sound crude to you? Why? God made it ALL good, didn't he? So what part of "all" are we trying to exclude?

Now before you think I approve of bestiality, think again. I am merely suggesting that the first man and woman had no knowledge of evil and in their innocence probably made note of all the cavorting that was probably going on all around them and let it inspire their own ideas. We can only guess that God gave Adam some minimal instruction of what to avoid.

But fast forward past the "fall" and, thanks to Puritans and other religious fanatics, sex has been relegated to the necessary evil category and only for procreation. To this day certain religions say that God and the angels turn their backs on a man and a woman when they make love. Again, Scripture please!

I ask you, who invented sex in the first place? Who put the male and female pleasure spots in such reachable positions? If God had not meant for us to have pure but passionate sex all the time, why did he build in sex "buttons" and erogenous zones? The fact is He did invent male and female sexuality. And He meant for us to try anything, anywhere we can get away with it.

In the Song of Solomon, the Shulamite and her lover met under trees and meadows. They tasted and touched and tried anything. How can such an erotic book be included in the Word of God? Simply because God wants us to know how much He loves us. So much so that the only limitations you can find in scripture is that sex should be between a man and a woman, not with animals or same sex partners or someone else's mate.

So, let me just say that there are no "wrong" sex positions - thus all positions are for Christians! Throw out your tendency to judge right and wrong (man has delineated more sins than God ever did). This is for you and your lover to determine - not someone else.

It really is time to stop giving the devil or some perverted porn mogul credit for the absolute beauty of erotic love between a husband and his wife. God wants all of his children to experience all the beauty of married sexual love.

Stop Lying to Our Kids About Sex

I believe there are irrefutable laws that govern our universe. These laws keep the planets in their proper orbits, govern the lifespan of stars, and continue expanding endless galaxies. I also believe there are universal laws that govern this planet and the people on it. Whether one chooses to obey these laws or not is irrelevant to the fact that these laws exist. And while one may exercise his right to defy these laws, he cannot alter the natural consequences of that choice.

For example, there is a universal law of gravity on this planet. I may insist that this law does not apply to me-that I am not bound by it. I may even demonstrate my defiance by climbing to the top of a 20 story building, standing at the edge, and leaping off. As I fly through the air, the exhilaration of complete freedom, the incredible "rush" fills me to overflowing and I shout, "See, I told you. The law of gravity doesn't apply to me!" Some observers on the ground may even buy into the charade-"Look, he's flying, he was right!" And then, with the predictability of the sun rising in the east and the waves crashing on the shore, the inevitable happens-choice meets consequence; universal law claims her own.

We see this blatant and arrogant disregard for natural laws all around us. We are immersed in a global economic crisis because governments and some citizens violated the law of the harvest, the laws of productivity, frugality, integrity and simplicity. Yet nowhere do I see natural laws more arrogantly and irresponsibly defied than when it comes to mainstream sex education and our children. When I say "sex education," I refer not only to the curriculum in our public schools, but to the greater influences of sexualized TV, movies and Internet pornography. Research shows that a majority of teens consider the media their main source of information regarding sexual issues.

When it comes to "sex," what does mainstream-prime-time-celebrity-ized media teach our young people? To put it simply, "Sexual intimacy is a normal, natural urge that should be readily and fully expressed between consenting individuals-if it feels good, then just do it." And then they quickly add, "But do it safely." In other words, there are no set universal laws governing human sexuality. It's simply freedom of expression, personal preference and individual choice. But what is the truth? Are there natural, irrefutable laws that govern sexual intimacy? Is there a factual "science" behind sex that Hollywood, pornographers and other profiteers don't want our young people to know about?

The Science of Sex

There is not room in this blog to discuss all of the spiritual and emotional/psychological aspects of human sexuality. For example, you cannot place a condom on the human heart. There are myriad consequences both spiritually, emotionally and physically when one chooses to ignite the power of sexuality. In this blog I want to focus on brain science. For more than a decade, I have devoted much of my professional life to the study of human sexuality and the effects of sexualized media and pornography on the human brain. Remarkable neuroscientists and psychologists have been gracious enough to place me under their tutelage and guidance. After years of study and professional interaction with these renowned individuals, I wrote my first book on this topic titled, The Drug of the New Millennium-The Brain Science Behind Internet Pornography Use (available at amazon.com).

While the brain science of sexual intimacy could fill hundreds of blogs, allow me to share just a few of the facts.

Our Creator intended sexual intimacy to be extremely powerful. The programming is built into our very DNA structure. Like other forces in nature, there are natural laws that govern human sexuality. Like the law of gravity, the use of sexuality brings consequences-both positive and negative, constructive and destructive-the results of individual choice. To understand how the natural laws governing sexuality work, let's consider what happens in the brain when an individual becomes sexual.

In sexual process, the brain releases powerful neuro-chemicals. Depending on the circumstances and how the individual chooses to use these chemicals, the results can be glorious or disastrous.

1. Dopamine: During sexual process, the brain releases a tidal wave of dopamine-our own natural "pleasure drug." This "drug" creates a very powerful dependency. This can be a healthy dependency between two life-long committed individuals, or it can be an addiction dependency on pornography, illicit affairs, one-night-stands, etc. In addition, when dopamine is present, the "limbic system" or pleasure/reward center of the brain takes over and pushes the frontal lobes or logic center of the brain out of the way. If the individual is not in a safe, responsible situation, he or she can make some really stupid or even devastating choices. With "right-use" dopamine brings wise choices, healthy pleasure, connection, joy and fulfillment. With "wrong-use" it triggers foolish decisions, powerful addiction, loss of freedom, and "drug highs" followed by depressing, hopeless lows.

2. Oxytocin: Known as the "bonding chemical," oxytocin floods the brain of new mothers and fathers bonding them to their newborn children. When couples hold hands, embrace and kiss, oxytocin releases and begins forging a powerful bond. During sexual intimacy, oxytocin bonds individuals together with the same kind of chemical power that bonds a mother to her newborn child. This bonding process is a wonderful gift in a committed, life-long marriage. But imagine what happens when this bonding chemical is released during illicit sex or pornography viewing. Who or what are the individuals being bonded to, and how difficult will it be to sever that bond after the "rush" is over?

These are just two examples of the many neuro-chemicals released during sexual process. These chemicals were divinely designed to create marvelous "natural" consequences that are an unmatched gift and blessing. But, used outside natural limits and boundaries, they wreak havoc on societies, families and individuals. If you doubt it, just look around at the tidal wave of consequences. Blatantly obvious examples are the celebrities of sexualized Hollywood and pornography who portray themselves as role models for the "do whatever feels good" approach to life-"There are no universal laws" they scream as they fly flippantly through the air. But inevitably, each in turn break themselves against the solid rock of irrefutable natural laws. And as we witness their chaotic and disastrous lives, we wonder, "Do they really have the answers about sex?"

If we're going to be truly effective in the sex education of our young people, then we need to have the maturity, integrity and intelligence to "tell the whole truth." Yes, they need to make their own choices. But along with all of the glamour, glitz and "brain rush" of sexualized media, let's teach our young people the true "science of sex" so they can make an "informed" decision. So they can know in advance what to expect should they choose to "leap defiantly off the edge," or harness the power and joy that come as a natural consequence of "right-use."

Telling Your Kid About Sex: Why and How

Think of the moment when you saw your newborn baby for the first time. What a beautiful feeling! And with the passage of time the relation between you two has grown into a magical bond. Your innocent kid, you love him. You are ready to do whatever you think is needed for your small child. But why then when it comes to educating your child in the matters of sex you try to avoid your responsibilities? Why you want to leave it entirely on your small kid to find out for himself, in a world where his questions will not be received in the right spirit by other grown-ups?

Accepted, like everybody your own emotions come in the way. You feel embarrassed no end even when thinking about starting a discussion. But being a responsible and conscious individual you have the power to overcome your inner blocks. You have to recognize that power and use it.

And no matter how difficult it may appear at first, educating your kid in the matters of sex is not that difficult if you start early and follow a proper plan.

Starting early makes things a lot more manageable. When your child is of 3 or 4 years old his questions are easier to answer and these discussions of early years makes your work easy later on when your small kid becomes a teenager and issues become fairly complex.

Small kids are curious by nature; at this stage whatever you teach your kid learns promptly and retains it for many years to come. Utilize this impressionability of your kid. When you teach him about his body and various organs teach him about the sex organs as well. Hardly one percent of parents do this. But this approach is very effective and in effect allows you to start your kid’s sex education without uttering single word about sex. And the terminology you introduce your kid to helps you in future to start discussion about sex with ease.

If you have not started telling you kid about sex when he was around 3 or 4 years you may face some inertia to start discussion. But don’t worry; you just need to apply little innovative thinking to help your kid.

You may try the following approaches to break the ice.

=>It is just normal to feel awkward while starting discussion. To overcome this get busy with some household work --that does not demand 100% of your attention like cleaning your car or preparing a dish -- while talking to you child. This will help you to loosen up while talking. The bottom line is: do something to keep your nerves from getting tight because of tension.

=> If you feel face to face discussion is too much for you, tell your kid about sex over phone. When you talk to someone over phone you face comparatively less embarrassment so you might find it easier to do. But here you have to be little imaginative to create a situation that calls for telephonic discussion of the topic.

=> You may also think of getting help from some relative if you really find it is almost impossible for you to do.

Use the final one as the last resort, because you can teach your child better than anybody else. And remember it is not difficult as it appears at first.

How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex - So They Will Listen

For many parents, the very thought of discussing sex with their children causes sweaty palms and sends chills down their spine.

“How will I know what to say?”

“When is the right age?”

“What if they laugh at me?”

“Should I use some sort of book?”

These are just a few questions parents have asked me while serving as a church youth director and counselor. While it can seem awkward at first, if you are intentional about the sex talk, you can create a positive rapport with your child. Discussing sex with your kids is more than just education. It creates an openness within your communication. You want to send the message that “If I can talk to my parents about sex, then I can talk to them about anything.”

What not to do:

1. Don’t embarrass them

This can happen when parents discuss their own sexual experiences with their children. The teens I see will share more about sex with me than their parents, because they have felt embarrassed by their parents’ behaviors. Your role is to be a facilitator of sexual discussion, not a reporter.

2. Don’t lecture them and attempt to make them conform to your standards

No one likes to be controlled by another person. This is especially true with teens. If they feel controlled, most will likely say one thing to your face and do the opposite. There is no way that you are going to “make” your teens behave the way you want them to, as no other adult can make you do something you do not want to do. Rather, use this time to have serious discussions with your teen about healthy sexuality. Have a true dialogue with them, raising their awareness of the consequences of their decisions.

3. Don’t wait until your children are adolescents to begin talking about sex

What is the right age to start talking about sex? When your children start to ask questions. Even preschoolers will ask where babies come from. Answer them in a simple matter of fact manner. To tell them they will have to wait until they are older stifles their desire to ask any further questions. Sex education needs to start as early as elementary school and continue through pre-adolescence, teen and young adulthood years.

What to do:

1. Be an example

Teens are great at “doing as you do, not as you say.” Many teens that I have counseled are frustrated by the “double standards” set by their parents.

2. Be Straight Forward

Use proper terms for the penis, vagina, orgasm, and other parts of the body. To use slang can send the message that you are not taking this seriously, so why should they?

3. Discuss healthy boundaries with them.

Ask them what they think their physical boundaries should be. Ask if they think there will be any future consequences to their behavior. Help them to think through their choices. Sex is more than just a physical pleasure, but will also have emotional consequences as well.

4. Be discreet when your kids have friends over or spending the night.

I think this one is self-explanatory!

5. Be age appropriate.

Begin with a little bit of information, and then continue as they are able to handle it. There is no need to give the full description to kids if they cannot understand it.

6. Stay in touch

Educate yourself on what the sexual issues are that your children may be facing. Sometimes they may come right out and tell you. Other times you will need to be aware of what is going on in contemporary youth culture, and issues at their school.

Having the Sex Talk with your child can be something that enhances your relationship, rather than being scary.

Teacher Student Sex Scandals Investigated - This Could Be Your Child's School

As a grandparent of four school-age children and a professional, who has thirty-three years experience in sexual child abuse prevention and recovery, and author, "If I'd Only Known....Sexual Abuse In or Out of The Family: A Guide To Prevention," I am angry and disappointed that the news report, "Teacher-Student Sex Scandals Investigated, Districts Should Limit Off-Campus Contact Between Teachers, Students, Experts Say," on CBS Channel 5, Phoenix, AZ, May 20, 2009 reported the standard laundry list of misinformation and distortion of sex offender modus operandi. Furthermore, there were NO concrete strategies offered to parents and teachers to protect children from this heinous crime that is all too often committed against children.

My grandchildren are a few of the prepared ones, because they have been educated about protecting themselves from would-be sex offenders. Who better to protect him/herself than the would-be target of this crime, since it is perpetrated in secret? Children, as young as two-years-old, can be taught techniques to ward off a sex offender. There are seven compelling parent-approved and child-tested techniques parents, teachers and children can learn to thwart the majority of would-be sex offenders. Teaching children the techniques of sexual abuse prevention does not require sex education or details about how they might be harmed.

The opening statement of this report began a litany of misinformation-"Dozens of Arizona teachers are accused of having inappropriate or illegal relationships with students each year,..." Using the quantifying term, 'Dozens,' implies, the total count is low, when, in fact, 104 cases of teacher sexual abuse were reported in Phoenix metro in the past four years. Not to mention that many teacher sexual child abuse incidents go unreported every year.

Such terms as: 'relationship,' 'dating,' [a fifteen-year-old child "...was allegedly dating one of her teachers,"] 'romance' and 'romantic,' implies the student and teacher have equal say in negotiating the terms of a 'relationship.' The opposite is true. Teacher sex offenders rely on their easy access to children and a trusting bond of authority to get what they want-sexual contact with children. Children are taught and rewarded for being respectful of teachers and authority. This fact, alone, disarms the child and gives the child a false sense of security with a would-be sex offender teacher-'Respect your teacher, my teacher is nice-he/she would never harm me.' Thus, the child is easily conned, duped, tricked, seduced, coerced and threatened if she/he tells. "The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool." Stephen King

Even more disturbing is the statement by Superior Court Judge Paul Katz, "A teacher should never become romantically involved with a student, period ... Even if it ultimately works out, that is crappy judgment." The philosophy that '...even if it ultimately works out...,' not only minimizes the damage the child endured and the egregious act of the teacher, the child's life has been altered immeasurably. And without effective and specific sexual abuse recovery, the child comes into adulthood with severe emotional and mental damage and often times suffer from the aftereffects their entire life. More often than not, the dots between the sexual child abuse and their emotional and physical symptoms are not connected.

As to possible strategies to prevent teacher sexual child abuse the only suggestion offered was presented by State Superintendent Tom Horne, "Some school districts, such as Paradise Valley School District, already have specific guidelines regarding contact between teachers and students outside the classroom." This measure will no doubt prevent a few children from being victimized. However, is this what we want for our children-protection from a few of the would-be teacher sex offenders? What does 'outside the classroom' mean? What about in the hall, gym, or on the play ground? These areas are outside the classroom. What are the rules about these locations, where children are frequently sexually abused?

It is not uncommon for gym teachers to 'cop a feel,' in the gym while assisting a student. 'Copping a feel,' is as damaging as genital touching or caressing. If you disbelieve this statement come and sit in my office for a week and you will hear the pain and anguish from those, who were 'only groped.' Furthermore, many students are sexually abused IN the classroom or IN the utility closet IN the classroom.

Horne stated, even if he had the power, he doesn't think it's a good idea to make it more difficult for teachers to develop healthy relationships with students. Mr. Horne is being short sighted and irresponsible to children when he uses the flimsy rationale that it isn't a good idea to make it more difficult for teachers to develop healthy relationships with students, because many children have been helped by teachers, who have taken interest in and become a role model for students.

There is a huge difference between developing a healthy relationship with students and grooming a child for sexual purposes. There are many behaviors and statements sex offenders make that telegraph their intention. The reasons sex offenders make veiled statements as to their intentions is to access the awareness of those, who could 'report' their unacceptable intent with a child. If their statements go unrecognized, they then feel confident their grooming actions will be undetected and never reported by anyone, including the child. Once the child has been desensitized and accepts the 'special attention,' the sex offender gradually escalates the intensity and nature of sexual activity.

If one knows the behaviors and the statements, it is relatively easy to identify a would-be sex offender. These behaviors are classic and consistent with sex offenders. All adults need to be educated on these behaviors and statements. Then, what?

It is appropriate then, for teachers and administrators to be alerted to this fact and everyone, as appropriate, shadows the teacher to prevent any opportunity for the teacher to target and groom a student. Surprisingly, the teacher may suspect or know he/she is being shadowed and as a result their suspicion or knowledge will compel the teacher to further telegraph their intention and thus, they are 'caught' before the damage can be done. Once their intentions and behavior has moved to a grooming stage, the behavior can be reported to authorities and processed accordingly. "Power is no blessing in itself, except when it is used to protect the innocent." Jonathan Swift

If the protocol for being alert to sex offender behavior and their statements are followed, there is NO impingement on teachers, who have the intent to develop a healthy student/teacher relationship.

In the final analysis, all adults have a responsibility to protect our children so they can reach their greatest potential, free of adults, who may wish to exploit them for their own purposes and, thus, alter that divine gift-potential. "We are not only responsible for what we do, but also, for that what we don't do." -Voltaire

Dr. Dorothy Neddermeyer, an expert witness, is available for comment on physical and sexual abuse.

Great Foreplay Tips For Hot Passionate Sex and Powerful Orgasms

As a sexologist, I often get asked the question on how to improve the connection and passion in sex. There is a lot of advice given these day in magazines and the media about sex, foreplay tips and how to orgasm. However, they usually revolve around the same old techniques and do not cover one of the easiest and most powerful foreplay tip.

This great foreplay tip is just open your eyes in sex and look at your partner. Now, this might seem simple, but some years ago a sexual conference of sex education was asked this exact question to the audience. Only a few of the sex educators put their hands up when asked if they had eyes open sex. Most of the sex educators did not every have their eyes open in sex at any time.

Intimacy is really about into me I see and opening your eyes in sex and connecting is allowing you to be really seen. Open eyes sex is really about connecting your energies and feelings with your partner.

I think sex can be an internal experience of pleasure and sensations or it can be more about connecting and feeling your lovers love and energy. Opening your eyes allows the second aspect of sexuality to come forward. A transfer of energy and emotion can flow between lovers in eyes open sex. This can bounce from one lover to the other and vise versa.

Both mode of sex is great, but I suggest you experience all modes of sexuality in lovemaking. Sex will then never becomes routine and boring.

The next time you orgasm, try to have your eyes open to show your lover her full energy.

I cover more foreplay tips in my free newsletter including 20 strokes on the penis and vulva and much more.

Maurice Tate is a qualified sexologist trained at the Advanced Institute of Sexology. To improve your lovemaking go to his newsletter. Over 8000 members have joined.

Androgyny in Sexuality Education

I was one of the pioneer batches in Singapore trained for Sexuality Education, and I think it was quite amazing that I’ve steered clear of this subject thus far. I think it is important, though, for all children to learn and accept themselves as they are, and so I come up with this article to help parents and educators on this aspect of a person's sexuality.

For those who are thinking of trashy stuff, sorry to disappoint you - Sexuality Education is not Sex Education. Sex Education teaches about the physical and perhaps emotional aspects of coitus, and touches on topics like contraception and so on. Sexuality Education includes Sex Education, but that’s not the focus - the focus is on the person’s values and his ability to relate to himself and others in the chosen sexual orientation.

Singapore, unlike western countries, treaded cautiously on this subject. Plenty of religious and community leaders were consulted before the Ministry of Education finally decided we will do Sexuality Education rather than Sex Education. With values being such an important part of Sexuality Education, ideas like abstinence and protecting our bodies took a stronger centre stage rather that telling the kids how to use condoms to make sure they don’t get pregnant, since (not if!) they want to have sex at that age.

The issue of androgyny is an interesting one nowadays. With the rise of the Sensitive New Age Man (SNAG) in the magazines, and the prevalence of manga and anime from Japan (where the lead characters tend towards androgyny as well), such a man or woman has become more and more accepted in society.

Androgyny is a state where a man displays certain traits (physical or emotional) that society attributes towards women, or where a woman displays certain traits (physical or emotional) that society atttributes towards men. It comes from a combination of the Greek andros (man) and gyne (woman).

I am an example of an androgynous man. I’m most definitely a man (and not only because of my sexual organs!) but I display openly many behaviours that society attributes towards women. I am quite emotional, tears quite easily and speaks gently in a measured tone (one of the contractors I used to work with when I was in the Navy said that I’ve a “sweet voice”…now that’s scary when you hear it from a man!).

Not only that, but in looks and appearance, I’m rather like Legolas (the elf in the Lord of the Rings, as portrayed by Orlando Bloom) - slim and fair, with little body hair. This is so unlike Aragorn (portrayed by Viggio Mortensen), a dark bushy man with rippling muscles. And since I’m very sure I’m full of testerone (I’m hyperactive…and my wife can also testify to another reason why I’m definitely full of testerone), I must possibly have a stronger dose of estrogen in me than most man. Hmm…that perhaps explains the mood swings as well…

My wife, on the other hand, is considered a “hairy” woman (for a woman - she’s obviously less hairy than any man!). For her case though, I can’t tell if it’s because she has weaker estrogen levels for a woman, or she has stronger testerone levels for a woman. But her sexuality is definitely oriented towards that of a woman, while mine is most definitely towards that of a man, no question about it.

By now, astute readers should be aware that our bodily features assigned to masculinity and femininity is due to the balance of male hormones testerone and female hormones estrogen. Most men have very weak estrogen levels, while most women have very weak testerone levels.

Men with very strong estrogen levels may develop what the Chinese termed 脂粉味 (literally “smelling of perfume”). They look very, very feminine and may even develop breasts, for some extreme cases. Historically, such men have been looked down upon and have even created disasters, like Dong Xian, the “concubine” of a certain Han emperor.

Women with very strong testerone levels tend to be of strong build and large sizes. I suspect the Mu Yecha from the Chinese classic Outlaws of the Marsh would be such a character. Again, society tends not to be very accepting of such persons, labelling them “butches” and so on (more so if they from the military).

With the progress of thinking, a more cosmospolitan-outlook and the building of tolerance levels in the world today, we are getting more and more accepting of the androgynous look. The media has built in today’s woman a liking for the Sensitive New Age Man - a man who is a prince charming but yet not outwardly macho. Women like Grace Jones, Ella (from Chinese pop sensation S.H.E) and the winners of SuperGirls (in China) Li Yuchun (2005) have become stars in their own right, with millions of fans.

It’s a good sign. While God has made us man and woman, different and yet complimentary to each other, we should be allowed to express ourselves fully the entire range of human emotions and feelings, and to experience fully the many interactions with our environment. As long as the students understand that it takes more than being macho to be a man, or that a woman can be an engineer as well, I believe I’d have done my part as an educator.

Michael Chan used to be a teacher, before he left to run a managed fund. When his business failed, he returned to teaching, and is currently a Department Head at the Shanghai Singapore International School.

Analyzing the Love-Sex Chemistry

Love and sex are sides of the same coin. Sex without love is lust while love without sex is mere devotion or just an emotional attachment. Long lasting relationships are laid on the foundation of a healthy balance between love and sex. Things like trust, tolerance, ability to compromise, and be committed against all odds are some of the requisites for a lasting relationship.

Different people face different psychological challenges in their relationship. Some try to resolve their dilemmas on their own while the rest seek advice either from their friends or mentors. There is no end to love dilemmas- they are either trivial or grave. However, to the lovers, all dilemmas seem equally grave. Let's analyze some of the problems that lovers face most often.

Lack of trust on either side is the major problem creator in a relationship. Women chiefly succumb to unnecessary suspicion resulting in an eventual break up with their partners. On the other hand, men hate being nagged randomly. However, this does not mean that men can take their partners for granted. The best thing a couple can do is to allow equal space to each other; confide in their darkest secrets, and try to figure out mutual problems.

It's very important for couples to know each other. No two persons are alike and hence one must respect each other's identity. One should not try to make an argument out of insignificant things. However, if arguments take place, make sure that you attempt reconciliation. Showing that 'you care' is one of the best kept secrets in a loving relationship.

Notwithstanding the above-mentioned issues, there crops up some intimate problems, which demand more attention and perhaps even professional support. Many partners shy away from the most wonderful gift of God to mankind- sex. Sexual encounter is an inevitable aspect of conjugal life and trying to remain celibate post marriage is quite illogical. Failure as an ideal sex partner might be another trouble in your sex life. A situation might arise wherein your passion has lost its erstwhile spark or you have been unable to light a single spark in the first night itself! Dissatisfaction in a relationship often calls for extra-marital affairs or adultery. The result- more trouble, more pain.

These love pangs can best be sorted with the help of professional sex experts or 'sexperts'. The sexpert can guide you to tackle your love challenges wittingly. With their guidance and support, you can actually sail smoothly over the intermittent waves of love and sex.

When Sex Comes Into Play

One of the most important questions an individual will ask at some point of his or her teenage life is whether or not it is time to engage in a sexual relationship. Due to hormones and social cues, teens decide often too early to become sexually active. Most importantly, a lot of young individuals do not think things through before attempting to experience an intimate relationship and lack of information and proper guidance does not help them reach the desired stage with a clear mind. As sex has never been just a pleasure act, but it is actually a physical and an emotional risk, teenagers should consider some things before deciding to go ahead and "do it."

First of all, how can you tell if you are ready to have sex? Perhaps your body is sending you all these weird signals with which your heart or mind do not seem to agree. Thus, before getting sexually involved with your partner, you should carefully understand the pros and cons, because there is no turning back once you have "done it." Try to be smart and judge your feelings and whether or not you are ready to have sex without regretting it five minutes later.

Extremely important is for you to protect yourself. We cannot stress it enough. Protect, protect and again remember to protect your body and your health! Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) might not be the first thing that comes into your mind when those hormones make your body "dance" with excitement, but it is imperative for you to remember that STDs exist and you can avoid them by remembering to protect yourself. Even during these amazing teens' years, when immortality still seems to be a distant possibility, illness and sexually transmitted diseases exist. Thus, please remember to protect yourself. It only takes once to commit a life-threatening or even fatal mistake.

Another important thought that should cross your mind before deciding to have sex for the first or the tenth time is that of pregnancy. Although many teenagers consider protecting themselves against an unwanted pregnancy in comparison to STDs, the number of young people taking an active position on this subject is still very low. It might be common knowledge that unprotected sex can lead to unwanted pregnancy, however, a lot of young boys consider this to be a problem for the girls and do not consider taking the right precautions to protect themselves and their partners. This can be later a horrifying reality. Girls and boys have to consider the pregnancy risk before it is too late.

While some teenagers consider it to be important, other think of it as a burden that has to be off their back as quickly as possible. Virginity is not a taboo issue, when one considers that the majority of teenagers that decide to have sex do so because they think of themselves as a minority group that others can laugh with. This is such a misconception. If a teenager under-values himself or herself, others will too. Try not to be dishonest with your own feelings and loose once in a lifetime experience because others think of you as incapable of "doing it."

Finally, it is generally admitted that when the teenager's hormones begin to rage, it is very easy to be confused with true love. If one considers that peer pressure, insecurity, the urge to become independent, and rebel against things a teenager does not approve, then the sexual experience can be the outcome of nothing more than an act of revenge and lust. Try to be honest with yourself and examine the reasons that make you think to have sex. Only that can be your defense mechanism against your own excitement.